Kids are growing up in a digital environment where surveillance is the norm and sharing is second nature. Apps collect personal data, platforms encourage oversharing, and schools rely on non-private tools. It’s fallen to parents to help their kids make sense of it all.
At Proton, many of us are navigating these challenges ourselves. In a recent internal survey, we talked to 21 Proton parents about how they feel about and approach their children’s online privacy. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given that our work revolves around building privacy-first tools, over 90% said they were very or extremely concerned.
Other worries included screen time (76%), inappropriate content (90%), online predators (76%), and cyberbullying (81%). Tracking by advertisers ranked lowest, with 33% listing it as a concern.
As people who work in privacy for a living, we wanted to share what it’s really like trying to protect our own kids online — and why it’s anything but easy. We also all take slightly different approaches tailored to what works for our kids, our families, and our preferences as parents. Finally, we share some tips we use to talk to our kids about online privacy, set healthy tech boundaries, and the tools we wish existed to make it easier.
- When do we start the conversation?
- How we talk to our kids about online privacy
- How we set tech boundaries for our kids
- What we wish existed
- Raising privacy-literate kids is a team effort
When do we start the conversation?
There’s no perfect age to start talking about online privacy, but most Proton parents agree: the earlier, the better. In our survey, nearly 80% said they started these conversations before age 10, with many pointing to ages 7 to 9 as the sweet spot — when kids attend online classes and get their first devices. About 10% of us started around age 5, while the rest waited until preteen or early teen years.
Despite our industry knowledge and early introduction of the idea of online privacy, many of us feel uncertain of how to best help our children. We’re actively engaged — 57% of Proton parents often or always check their child’s online activity — yet 62% of us are only somewhat confident in their ability to protect their child’s privacy and safety online. This reflects how tricky the landscape is, even for those of us who work in privacy.
How we talk to our kids about online privacy
These chats work best when they’re part of everyday life, not one-time lessons. Here’s how we approach them:
Start simple and relatable
Younger kids don’t need a lecture on data brokers or algorithmic profiling(nueva ventana) — just simple and relatable ideas. For example, when they ask, “Why do I need a password?”, we explain that passwords help keep their stuff private, like a lock on a diary.
Watch and browse together
Co-viewing lets us explain things in real time and model healthy skepticism. When kids ask, “Can I watch YouTube?”, it’s an opportunity to talk about screen time, ads, autoplay, and how content is designed to keep people engaged, not informed.
We’ve also found that open-ended questions work better than rules and encourage critical thinking:
- “Why do you think this app is free?”
- “Who do you think can see what you post online?”
- “How would you feel if a stranger saw this photo?”
Explain the trade-offs
Many “free” apps aren’t really free. We try to help our kids understand that these services often make money from our attention and personal data — including what we watch, click, or search. That data might be used to show us more ads, make the app more addictive, or be sold to other companies. And we usually have no idea where it ends up.
Talk about digital footprints
What kids post or share online can stick around, even in group chats. The choices they make now, like leaving public comments or uploading photos, become digital footprints that could follow them later in life.
For example, a future employer might check their online presence or their content could be used by AI systems to learn how to write, talk, and recognize faces without their knowledge or permission.
Call out manipulation by design
Some content and apps are built to hijack attention, like using autoplay, infinite scroll, or flashy rewards to keep kids hooked instead of genuinely informed or entertained. It’s important to teach kids how to spot these manipulative designs, like clickbait titles, rage comments, or viral videos crafted for maximum engagement. The goal is to help them recognize when they’re being pulled into something for someone else’s benefit, like the app’s creator.
Teach consent and boundaries
Online privacy is also about how we treat others. We encourage our children to ask before posting photos of friends, to think twice before sharing someone else’s story, and to know they can always say no if someone asks them for a picture or personal information.
How we set tech boundaries for our kids
Awareness is a start, but kids still need structure. Here are some of the boundaries that came up most often in our survey:
- Screen time limits: Around 76% of Proton parents said they set screen time limits, which are often focused on entertainment platforms, social media, or short-form video apps.
- Device-free zones: About 76% set rules like no phones at the dinner table, in bedrooms, or during family time to cut distractions and encourage face-to-face connection.
- App approval: About 86% set restrictions on the types of apps their kids can use, such as learning apps or streaming services with content for children. Sixty two percent use parental controls to help enforce those rules.
- Device-level settings: 47% of us use device-level settings, like turning off location services(nueva ventana) or managing app permissions, to minimize unnecessary data collection and give our kids more private defaults.
- Delayed smartphone access: About 14% of Proton parents said they’ve deliberately delayed giving their child a smartphone. For example, a basic phone or a shared family device gives kids a way to stay in touch without full internet access and helps introduce responsibility in stages.
- Replacing addictive games: One parent shared that instead of banning addictive, free-to-play games, they introduced their kids to non-tracking alternatives like old consoles or arcade-style games.
What we wish existed
Many Proton parents feel like we’re often forced to use tools that don’t match our values. Standard parental control apps can be bypassed easily and often focus more on surveillance than trust. As one parent put it:
So many of these tools feel like ‘privacy theater’ — they look protective but don’t actually do much.
What we’re looking for isn’t tighter control but better design, clearer values, and real transparency. Here’s what made it onto our wish list:
Smarter tools for families
Many current tools create friction at every turn — asking parents to constantly approve screen time extensions, app downloads, or even music access. Over time, the effort becomes so draining that many give up or loosen restrictions until they barely matter.
Around 76% of us agreed we need better parental tools that support boundaries without constant back-and-forth. Instead of hidden monitoring, shared control can help families manage privacy settings together, understand data use, and build better habits.
Better app and platform design
Roughly 71% of us said we want more privacy-focused social media apps for kids that support a safer, healthier online experience from the start instead of pushing engagement at the cost of wellbeing.
For example, this could mean removing features like comment sections or private messaging from content aimed at children — to reduce the risk of predatory contact and give parents peace of mind without constant oversight.
One Proton parent suggested that local social media focused on real-life relationships could help kids mitigate ad-funded platforms’ toxic, attention-driven design.
Stronger school support
Schools should have stronger policies on student privacy with clear rules for photo sharing, third-party apps, data handling, and regular classroom discussions about digital safety instead of one-off lessons.
For example, educators should stop promoting tools like WhatsApp and the Google Suite for class communication and productivity, which normalizes non-private platforms from an early age.
Better community support
Around 57% of us said we want more spaces for parent connection, such as online forums, discussion groups, or internal workshops, which could help privacy-minded families share ideas instead of feeling alone.
Movements like Smartphone-Free Childhood(nueva ventana) show how powerful collective action can be. It’s much easier to set limits when other parents, schools, and communities are aligned — not when you’re the only one saying no. One Proton parent said:
Realistically, the only way to keep children from having an unhealthy attachment to technology is if there are other people who are trying too.
Plus, privacy education should reach everyone involved in a child’s life, as well-meaning grandparents, relatives, or friends post photos of kids without thinking about consent or long-term impact.
Digital education that actually works
About 62% of us wished for better guides or tutorials to help our kids navigate the online world — because let’s face it, even adults struggle to make sense of what’s real anymore. With the rise of low-quality or AI-generated content, tools that teach kids to question what they see and recognize bias are essential.
For tweens, interactive formats like games, videos, or guided activities could better explain key ideas like consent, digital footprints, and how apps monetize attention.
However, as one Proton parent put it, watered-down, “kid-safe” content doesn’t work for teens, as they tend to reject anything that feels patronizing or overly educational. What they respond to are smart, well-designed tutorials that feel adult, credible, and shareable among their peers.
Better legal protection
Two Proton parents said that clear, enforceable age restrictions for social media would take pressure off families and hold platforms more accountable. One of these parents also supports ad bans aimed at children so they aren’t treated as targeted customers before they even understand what that means.
Raising privacy-literate kids is a team effort
Protecting kids online is about having ongoing conversations, modeling healthy habits, and pushing for better systems. The more we share ideas, challenge norms, and build with privacy in mind, the better chance we have of giving kids the future they deserve — one where they control their digital lives, not the other way around. As one parent said:
We need to focus on creating safe, open, non-commercial third spaces for everyone — but ESPECIALLY for children.
At Proton, we believe privacy should be the default, not something parents have to fight for. That means trust, transparency, and respect for children’s rights to grow up without being tracked, profiled, or manipulated — values that Proton parents are trying to uphold every day.
