Children face all kinds of threats online, from harassment or blackmail on social media to education tools that surveil them. These harms are caused by bullies, criminals, and Big Tech companies, but one of the biggest threats comes from the unlikeliest source: their parents.

“Sharenting” describes the intersection of our digital and family lives. It’s natural to want to celebrate your children and share updates about them, but once you share a photo, you lose control of who can access it and what they can do with it — especially if you share it on social media.

The potential ramifications of sharenting have grown increasingly dire thanks to advancements in AI and photo generation. Previously, the worst outcomes of sharenting could be strangers seeing your photos or Big Tech using them to target you with ads. But today the risks are much higher: It only takes a few images to create believable deepfakes that could be used for identity theft or worse.

What is sharenting?

Sharenting is a portmanteau of “sharing” and “parenting”. It refers to sharing pictures or videos of your child or other personal information online. When you post a photo or share an update on social media, you’re doing it because you’re proud of them and you want to involve your friends and family in your life. But you’re building a digital footprint for your child before they can consent, which can have real consequences. Sharenting could look like:

  • Posting pictures of your child and other children at a school event on your Instagram or Snapchat.
  • Sharing a picture of your child on your personal website or blog.
  • Writing a blog post about your child’s important milestones, such as moving schools, joining a new club, or becoming a teenager.

These are good intentions, but sharing online comes with inherent risks. When you make these decisions for yourself, you take on the risk. But when you share your children’s data, whether it’s their face or personal stories, you’re making decisions for them that they might not have chosen for themselves and can lead to serious consequences. To understand how sharenting can affect children, we need to understand the risks it poses.

Threats to children online are increasing

Unfortunately, the internet is becoming more hostile to children as unregulated services give bad actors access to powerful AI tools. X’s chatbot Grok has come under fire for allowing users to generate pornographic deepfake images of women and children. A paywall(nowe okno) was put in place after image generation spiked, suggesting that X was more interested in monetizing the problem than fixing it.

Backlash surged globally: Malaysia and Indonesia temporarily blocked access(nowe okno) to the platform. In the UK, the privacy watchdog Ofcom opened an inquiry(nowe okno) into X over the deepfakes. The cybercrime unit in Paris raided X’s French office, summoning Elon Musk for questioning.

Since this backlash began, a class action lawsuit has been launched by four anonymous women against X who allegedly had deepfake nudes generated of them using Grok. xAI has insisted that the plaintiffs be stripped of their anonymity(nowe okno) as there is a “public interest in their identities”, despite the very real risks of doxing and harassment. Instead of being protected, the victims of these deepfakes are put on trial.

What can we do about these hostile platforms? Removing children’s access to social media is being touted as a popular solution for combating online exploitation. Australia(nowe okno) has already banned children under the age of 16 from accessing social media apps, and the UK(nowe okno) is looking to do the same. This may feel like a solution that protects children, but ultimately children are incredibly adept when it comes to illicitly gaining access to websites and apps. It also doesn’t prevent bad actors from seeking out contact with children.

Now that it’s so easy to misuse pictures and personal data, are we taking the risks of sharenting seriously enough?

What are the risks of sharenting?

You can’t control where pictures and information end up after you post them on social media, a blog, or a website. Once you put the data on a third-party platform, a number of bad things can happen:

Data brokers and Big Tech surveillance

The classic risk of online sharing is that anyone can find your data. This is bad enough for adults; it’s worse for children. Because they’re still learning how to make the kind of complex judgments that adults can about technology, children are vulnerable to online exploitation. Making accounts online to talk to their friends or research their interests are innocent actions that can lead to data leaks and targeted ads that follow children around the internet. This can even apply to the ed tech they’re encouraged to use at school.

Things as commonplace as privacy policies and cookies aren’t things that children intuitively understand. They may click ‘agree’ or ‘share’ without understanding the consequences. Just one click can grant hundreds of third parties legitimate interest in their online activity and their data.

Child identity theft

Child identity theft has risen as well-meaning parents, relatives, and friends share information about children online. Even details that feel insignificant can be used over time to build a profile of a child and create accounts in their names, phish for further information, or cyberbully them.

A stranger operating a social media account in your child’s name can be disturbing, but there are more insidious risks when it comes to personal data. If your child’s home address or SSN is compromised, criminals could apply for loans, open bank accounts, and even max out credit cards in their name. Giving your child a good start in life means protecting their personal data until they’re old enough to protect it themselves. As a parent, this means protecting their face, name, address, school, medical information, and any other personal information.

Cyberattacks

Just like adults, children can be targeted by phishing scams, affected by data breaches, and vulnerable to social engineering without the right education. Taking the time to explain what personal data is and who you should share it with is essential when children begin to use the internet.

Deepfakes and CSAM

It only takes a few shared birthday photos to create convincing deepfakes(nowe okno). Deepfakes are manipulated images and videos(nowe okno) in which a person’s likeness is used to make it look like they’re saying or doing things that never happened. Once created, deepfakes can be circulated on the internet without your or your child’s consent.The risks of deepfakes range from spreading misinformation to cyberbullying to creating sexually explicit content.

The Internet Watch Foundation has released several reports(nowe okno) identifying the rise of AI-generated child sexual abuse material. Creating this material is possible using image generation tools as well as “nudify” apps. These apps take existing pictures of adults or children and use them to digitally create nude images. The legality of nudify apps is questionable, as many countries have intimate abuse image laws in place, but they remain largely accessible online. Many countries and companies are beginning to combat them, with Australia(nowe okno) aiming to ban them entirely, and Meta(nowe okno) filing a lawsuit against the entity behind a popular nudify app.

As AI models and generative AI tools become more powerful, it’s going to become easier to create even more convincing images and videos of children. According to research from McAfee(nowe okno), 19% of targeted children have faced deepfake and nudify app misuse, with 38% of girls aged 13-15 affected.

Sextortion and blackmail

A knock-on effect of the easy creation of deepfake nudes is the potential for sextortion. As the initial deepfakes have already been generated, children may be scared that their parents will punish the. Children can be blackmailed or extorted using deepfakes, and exploited to engage in further acts or conversations.

It isn’t just children who can be targeted. The Internet Watch Foundation has warned that cybercriminals are contacting schools(nowe okno) with deepfaked CSAM of pupils, demanding money to prevent them from being leaked. Schools in the UK have been recommended to blur the faces of pupils wherever possible for safeguarding purposes.

Cyberbullying

Bullying is a phenomena that has evolved significantly as technology has advanced. As children begin to learn about social and physical power, shaped by the people and media around them, they may use technology to target other children. Deepfakes can be used as a form of online harassment amongst students: This particularly affects young girls, but all young children(nowe okno) can be targeted and a sense of stigma may prevent them from telling an adult.

Not only can this cause significant distress to young children, it can impact their future lives negatively. If those deepfakes are uploaded to the internet, they may remain attached to that person’s digital identity indefinitely. Nudify apps effectively endorse this behavior, making it seem like a fun trick or a prank for children to play on each other.

How to have a conversation about sharenting

You are the best advocate for your child’s safety, and you are best placed to give your child a healthy relationship with the internet and online sharing. By talking with your children and your friends and/or family, you can help ensure your child avoids having their identity stolen or abused.

Older children can also be their own advocates. They should talk to their parents if they think too much of their information is being shared.

With your kids

The easiest way to respect your children’s wishes is to simply ask them what they’re comfortable with. Until your children are old enough to consent, it’s best to only share photos using encrypted communications(nowe okno) services or encrypted drives(nowe okno).

Letting your children know they have agency and autonomy helps them create healthy boundaries in both real life and online. It lets them decide what they’re comfortable letting other people knowing about them — the foundation of privacy. Given that you’ll likely be the one to introduce your child to the internet, it’s up to you to show them exactly how much control they have and what the potential risks are.

The National Crime Agency’s CEOP Education website has activity worksheets(nowe okno) aimed to help you start conversations about topics including sharing photos, social media, live streaming, and cybersecurity. The topics they recommend discussing with your children about sharing photos are:

  • What does your child share online, and what is OK and isn’t OK to share
  • Who your child shares with, and whether their online accounts public or private
  • Understanding privacy settings and exploring the privacy settings for their favorite apps together
  • Helping them understand that if they regret sharing an image, they can get help removing it from services such as Report Remove(nowe okno) in the UK or Take It Down(nowe okno) (which is available globally). They can also request that the image be removed from platforms such as Google(nowe okno), Facebook(nowe okno), Instagram(nowe okno), or Snapchat(nowe okno).

To help your children learn, you can also play a digital interactive story(nowe okno) about online sharing with your child, where you’ll read scenarios and decide which actions the character should take together. When it comes to educating your children as they create their own online accounts, Internet Matters provides extensive parental controls and privacy settings guides for social media accounts(nowe okno). Proton’s YouTube(nowe okno), Tiktok(nowe okno) and Instagram(nowe okno) channels also post short educational videos about internet privacy, news stories, and more.

With friends and family

Having a conversation about sharing images or information about your children can be complicated. Not all parents feel the same way about their children’s digital lives, and they may be unaware of the risks. If you’ve decided you’d like to ask a friend or a family member not to share information about your child online, you can send a request via text message or email, or you could have a one-on-one conversation with them. Consider using one of the following points as a jumping-off point for your own conversations:

  • We’ve decided not to upload any pictures showing our child’s face to protect their privacy. We’ll be using emojis to obscure their face until they’re old enough to decide if they’d like to show their face on social media, and we’re asking our friends and family to do the same.
  • Our child has requested that we ask them before anyone posts a picture of them online. We will be respecting their boundaries and ask that you do the same in the future.
  • We’re concerned about some of the risks of posting information about our child online, and we think it would be helpful to have a conversation about it so that you can make that decision for your child too.

With your parents

If you’re a child and you’re upset by what your parents post about you online, you have a right to ask them to stop. Whether it’s a picture you don’t like or information you’d prefer remain private, your face and your identity belong solely to you. Your parents are your caretakers, and they may think they’re making harmless decisions.

This is a very common experience for children in today’s online world. Apple Martin, 14-year-old daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow, criticized her mother for not respecting her boundaries after Paltrow posted a photo(nowe okno) of them skiing together on her Instagram. Martin replied on the post, “Mom we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent.” Any child should have the right to decide how and if they appear on the internet. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child even specifies children’s right to express themselves(nowe okno), with their views “being given due weight in accordance with the age and maturity of the child”.

If you don’t like the way your parents are sharing information about or pictures of you, you can explain this to them using some of the following points:

  • I’m worried about the digital footprint you’re creating for me. When I’m an adult, the things you post about me will follow me, and I want to have a choice about what the internet knows about me.
  • I don’t like that you share information about me without asking me first. Can we have a conversation about what is and isn’t OK to tell people about me?
  • I find the things you share about me embarrassing, and you need to respect my privacy. My life belongs to me, and I want to decide who knows what about me.

How to share responsibly

Fortunately, there are steps you can take to keep friends and family members updated about your family without putting your kids’ privacy at risk. Here’s a quick recap of how you can protect your child’s privacy and share updates with friends and family.

  • Ask first. If your child can consent, let them.
  • Limit public sharing. Use encrypted services over public platforms.
  • Talk to your circle. Set boundaries with friends and family about what’s OK to post.
  • Identify the risks. Explain that theft and deepfake exploitation are real threats.
  • Educate early. Teach kids what personal data is — and how to protect it.

Share safely

Instead of relying on social media to share updates about your children, consider moving to an encrypted drive shared with friends and family whom you trust. You can talk with your children about what you share, and effectively create a secure, digital photo album that your child is happy to be a part of. That way, when it comes time for your child to become an online citizen, they’re starting with the privacy and the education they need to make the most of their digital world. Proton Drive can help you create that secure place for your precious memories without compromising your child’s online safety or their future digital footprint.

As Stacey B. Steinberg, a prominent online voice about the legal and ethical concerns surrounding sharenting, puts it in her article(nowe okno): “By approaching a child’s right to online privacy in a child-centered manner, future generations will be able to enter adulthood unburdened by others’ decisions and free to define themselves on their own terms.” Privacy is for everyone, and that must include children.